Thursday, August 10, 2017

New beginnings

After a long time of silence here I am, would like to say, that I'm fresh an new, but that would be a lie.

Life is unexpected, people are coming into your life and they are going out of it as fast as they can. Sometimes a day seems so long and then one year goes bye so fast.
I spent almost a year at my latest workplace and today I said goodbye. Said goodbye to my colleagues and said goodbye to my friends.
And as much as I hate hugging people I was one of them today. 
Since I left high school I changed countries, cities so many times that letting go was basically my hobby. 
I don't regret my choice, I feel a little fear but happily my heart is filled with joy.
I am freaking thankful that after moving to Hungary these people come into my life even if some of them I'll may never see again, they were my family these months.
They saw me so differently, they saw what they wanted to see, a happy girl - maybe it's a small part of me.
What I've learned? That everyone needs nice notes, that every small gestures is neccesary, that some day a drawed heart can save the world.
Get up, stand tall - shall be my new mantra.
But one thing is sure:
More adventures, more hellos and goodbyes are coming.

Ps.: one of the gifts I received... I told you they saw me differently ;)
Made by @zsukkka

Take care!
With love from Fashion Lights ♥

Monday, May 15, 2017

13 Reasons Why

Hey beautiful people,
I wanted so badly to write my feelings down after I saw the whole season of 13 Reasons Why, but I'm stuck again, stuck in my head. I started this post already like tausend times and it seems that I can't find the right words.
Even if I write 2 sentences down, I just delete them after a moment of silence.
Words were my friends, I found myself safe in them, I felt secure with them, but now all I can feel is insecurity, the right words are fading away and they seem so far away from me.
Everything seems complex in my head, but in the moment I start to write I'm falling apart.
I thought about this book a lot, I started to think that I have more than 13 people in my life, who made me feel miserable.
Without any hesitation I could say that these people are enough reason to end my life.
But you know what I felt in the end, that this girl was so alone, and she doesn't wanted to die.
And honestly I don't wanna die either.
I have no idea if I will figure out myself/life or not, but one thing is sure I was never brave enough to end my life.
Take care!
With love from Fashion Lights ♥

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Dear Autumn

you were full of surprises. I can't thank you enough for the opportunities you gave me.
I had the chance to move into a new city, to start a new job and to find new friends.
I had nights where I fell asleep crying, but in the next day you put kindness in my life so I tried again and again to get back on my feet.

I fell in love with the colours of you. All the leaves were like they all wanted to tell everyone how the sun kissed them. You showed me beautiful sunsets and the Danube with it's green colour showed me how to stop for a minute. I attended some really interesting cultural events and also some fashion related ones.
I got tickets for the Placebo gig, bought a succulent to make my room a better place.

I relaunched my magazine to give aspiring writers a new platform to write and I'm thinking about getting back to school too. I haven't feel desire to learn in school since years - makes me happy to feel that way.
I need to use my German in my job - even if just a little bit, but it's really great to hear and practice the language. And Budapest is full of different people from all around the world so I can still use my English - so hopefully I won't forget my skills.
I kinda let people love me in this season, which is a very new way to live my life, but hopefully that was the right call to make.
So Autumn, thank you for your existence! I enjoyed your company very much.
See ya next year.

Oh, and dear Winter, I'm already excited for your ups and downs.

Take care!
With love from Fashion Lights ♥